How’s this for wine prose?

From Gods, Men, and Wine by William Younger, 1966. These are the two opening paragraphs of this rather old and musty book, which I hope turns out to be as good as its beginning:

“A bunch of grapes is beautiful, static, and innocent. It is merely fruit. But when it is crushed it becomes an animal, for the crushed grapes become wine and wine has an animal life.”

“Wine suffers a heaving birth. It has a rough, groping childhood. It develops into adolescence. Then, if it does not sicken, it matures; and in this it is almost human since it does not mature according to a fixed rule but according to the law of its particular and individual personality. The act which gives it personality is the act of fermentation. In this metamorphosis it is changed from fruit into animal; sometimes even into an animal of splendour.”

Don’t forget to order a copy of Cork Jester’s Wine Teasers wine game in time for Father’s Day!

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What’s most likely to kill you at a winery?

The Wine Teaser is: What’s most likely to kill you at a winery?

A: Exploding tanks
B: Tractor accidents
C: Falling in a wine vat

That’s a pretty esoteric question – one that few people will get right on the first guess. But Wine Teasers wine game is not really about knowing the answers, it’s more about exploring the questions. So, in this case, the GREAT BIG HINT leads everyone –gently and pleasantly — to the answer and discussion point.

Hint: Cool! Can I choose the wine?

Answer: C. To survive in a vat of wine, you’ll need a gas mask, not a snorkel, since you’ll probably be overcome by noxious gasses. Vineyards and wineries can be dangerous places, so much so that OSHA has released an educational movie title, The Safe Winery.

That’s an actual question from Cork Jester’s Wine Teasers wine game, the most fun, zany, unintimidating wine game on the planet!

What color grapes are used for rosé?

The Wine Teaser is: What color grapes are used for rosé?

A: Pink
B: Half red and half white
C: Red

Definitely an easy question for many wine drinkers. But the great thing about Wine Teasers wine game is that you don’t have to know a thing about wine to play – it’s really just an excuse to talk about and learn about wine!  So to keep everyone — even complete beginners — in the game, we always provide a GREAT BIG HINT!

Hint: Like your face after getting this wrong.

Answer: C. Rosé is made from red grapes without their skins, which contain the color. A good rosé can be tangy, robust, and bone dry. Real men do drink it. Ernest Hemingway downed a bottle of Spanish Rosado at the bull fights every day with lunch, and they don’t call him Papa for nothing.

That’s an actual question from Cork Jester’s Wine Teasers wine game, the most fun, zany, unintimidating wine game on the planet!

Vineyards all over the world often have rosebushes growing at the end of vine rows. What is their purpose?

The Wine Teasers is: Vineyards all over the world often have rosebushes growing at the end of vine rows. What is their purpose?

A: To honor the wine god Bacchus, a rose-lover
B: To be an early warning system for fungus and disease
C: To attract insects away from the vines

Like all Wine Teasers, this question comes with a big hint. If you were actually playing the game, you’d move ahead faster without the hint, but since this game is for beginners as well as wine experts, the hints help keep everyone in the game!

Hint: You should plant one in your shower.

Answer: B. Like the canary in a coal mine, rosebushes, being more susceptible to disease, start looking sickly before vines do. This gives vineyard workers time to treat the vines before it’s too late.

That’s an actual question from Cork Jester’s Wine Teasers wine game, the most fun, zany, unintimidating wine game on the planet!

Which word would you NEVER see on a bottle of Champagne?

The Wine Teasers is: Which word would you NEVER see on a bottle of Champagne?

A: Sec
B: Demi-sec
C: Triple-sec

OK, that’s probably pretty easy. But just in case you don’t know your liqueurs or have never made a Margarita (you must have, sometime!), here’s the BIG HINT:

Hint: It IS possible to have too much secs!

Correct Answer: C. In French, sec means dry. But in the weird language of Champagne, dry Champagne is labeled brut, slightly sweet is called sec, and really sweet is demi-sec. As for triple-sec, that’s for Margaritas.

That’s an actual question from Cork Jester’s Wine Teasers wine game, the most fun, zany, unintimidating wine game on the planet!